He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize