She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
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It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
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He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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