Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
