Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
