the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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