My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
