What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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