i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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