I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
