I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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