herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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