The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
