but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My penis needs a shock collar
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
