I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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