You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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