I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
