hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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