three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
