you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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