i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
