You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize