Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
