idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
