I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
