now i know why i became what i already was.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
