When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
