Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
from now on my penis is your penis
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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