she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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