I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We are two peas in an std pod
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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