I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
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Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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