he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize