That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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