And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
