OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
