Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
