Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
