She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My feet surprised me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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