I want to make a zoo with you.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
