plz talk dirty to me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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