I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
