we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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