He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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