I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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