Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
