i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
