The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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