Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize