Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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