About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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