Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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