I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
