Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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