And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
