So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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