i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
