I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize