And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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