i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
