its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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