Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
